You Can Create Your Own Positive Experience
Written by: Brandon Epstein
You are okay.
No matter what is going on in your world right now, I want you to know that you are okay and everything is going to be okay.
What I mean by that is that any experience you may be going through is just that – an experience and all experiences are temporary.
Sometimes you may get so caught up in your present pain or anticipated pain that you create a story in your mind that the world is crumbling down around you, that you’re going to have to live with the pain forever.
That’s not true. That’s a story that you have made up in your mind to provide you with a false sense of security, security in knowing that life is only going to be a certain amount of bad, but not worse.
The truth is, even your worse case scenario that you have made up in your mind is still not that bad. Whether we want to admit it or not, we all have these doomsday scenarios running around in our unconscious mind, making us act out in different ways.
Doomsdays scenarios for you may be that your significant other is going to leave you, that you’re not going to have enough money to properly support your family, that your family is going to resent you, that your friends will abandon you and so on and so on.
All of these scenarios center around a couple main fears – the fear of not being loved and the fear of being alone. Really, you could umbrella both of these fears under the one fear of not being loved, but a lot of people segment them in their minds into two different things, so I thought I would mention them both.
When you have this fear of potentially not being loved playing in the background of your unconscious mind, that is where the messaging of not being okay comes in.
I have dealt with this fear extensively myself and have tried to mask it with superficial issues, because I didn’t want to face my true fear. I would say “I am worried about money and not being where I want in business,” but the underlying messaging that was playing behind those words was, “I am afraid of not being loved.”
I’ll admit, why do I want more money and a more successful business? I want to feel secure enough to know that I can take care of the people around me, so I will be loved.
Kind of messed up, right?
The thing is, I don’t consciously think these thoughts, but when I dig into my fears and frustrations, the underlying theme is always the same.
I am afraid of being alone and not loved.
This used to bother me a ton on an unconscious level, but I denied it on a conscious level, because I didn’t want to face the resistance head on. Once I did though, everything began to change.
Going through my deepest pain and fears showed me that on the other side of all of this is nothing. No matter how bad the scenario I make up in my mind is, I can now see that everything is going to be okay. I’ll be taken care of. Even if I end up alone, I can bring myself back to the most innocent state of mind when I was a child and remember that being alone isn’t a bad thing.
Playing alone and with your own imagination can be one of the most pleasurable human experiences.
The freedom you get from knowing that even if you were alone you would still be okay, changes the game for so many people. You begin to understand that this life really is a gift that has been given to you to play with and enjoy.
Life is not about suffering or worrying about the future or past. Life is about embracing every single moment knowing that, even if your worst nightmares become a reality, you are still going to be okay.
That worst nightmare experience is nothing more than a single experience. Experiences can always be transcended through your power of perception. Your perception governs the quality of your life and the quality of your second to second experiences. Compare yourself to a homeless person and feel like a king, compare yourself to a billionaire and feel like a peasant. It’s all perception and it’s all influenceable by you.
There is one thing that you need to remember though and that is that you are okay. You always have been and you always will be. Unfavorable experiences may come into your life, but see them as teachers to grow from instead of roadblocks on your journey.
The more you accept experiences that come your way, the better you will be able to show up for the people you love the most (most importantly, yourself).
So… the next time you are feeling like you may not be okay, all you need to do is take a full body scan and ask yourself what it’s like to be you right now. Wherever the tension appears, go into it. Lean into it fully and with complete freedom and acceptance until you come out the other side. This new experience may tire you out a little bit, but it just goes to show how powerful those energy blocks are.
Once you discover the tension and come out the other side, the next step is telling your true self that everything is okay and always will be. Smile when you repeat these words to yourself:
”Everything is okay and everything is going to be okay.”
Repeat these words until you feel yourself relax and let go of all tension in your body.
Once you are free, remember that this is a tool you can use anytime and anyplace. You are free to be okay, always. So the next time you are stressing yourself out like crazy, remember to give yourself a friendly reminder. Everything is okay and it always will be.
Did this article resonate with you? Let me know in the comments.
Brandon Epstein is a former college football player, turned professional fitness model and serial entrepreneur. These days he spends his time helping people look great and feel awesome over at ZenDudeFitness.com. He can also be found hosting the Zen Dude Fitness Podcast where he’s always looking for new ways to make fat loss fun, simple and efficient for everybody.
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