What NOT To Do When You Hit A Setback


Written by: Janet Early

Break-up. Lay-off. Failure.

It’s the tough times that can push you into a rut. Despondently and defeatedly, you wonder, “What now?”

BUT there is power whenever you have an opportunity to make a pivotal decision that will change the course of your life.

Take control of that moment! Too often, we let this opportunity roll over us because we perceive decision-making to be overwhelming or impossible. It’s not! Making an important decision for your life is empowering.

Here are the 5 biggest mistakes people make after hardship and tips on how not to make them:

#1. Stalling

Fight, flight or stall…

When life has become tough to face, procrastination tricks you into thinking it’s a comfortable choice. I’ll figure this out later; I’ll make that decision another time; It’s not the right time for…

The excuses feel cozy, but will ultimately do you harm. Avoiding making a life-changing decision will leave your life…  unchanged. Therefore, you will remain in the same difficult spot you were in before.

Decision-making leads to action, which gives you back the power over your life and your destiny.

#2. Self-Medicating/Escapism

After a heartbreaking or challenging life event, it’s normal to seek joy.

In fact, the urge to counterbalance depression with pleasure is rooted in human nature. People want to feel good.

Escapist behaviors, such as drinking, overeating or drug use, can masquerade themselves as effective ways to avoid your problems. But it’s an illusion.

These destructive practices will at best prolong your problems and at worst will push you down a much darker path.

Escapism may distract you from your troubles, but it will also deprive you of the good things in life: your relationships, work and hobbies. Detachment is never a functional long-term solution.

#3. Repeating The Same Old Patterns

The same actions will yield the same results.

If you’re dealing with adversity, consider what actions on your part led you to this place. Write them down and embed them in your mind so that you can notice if you begin to repeat old mistakes.

Make a firm attempt to abandon those actions completely or replace them with healthy alternatives.

Even if this method doesn’t solve your problems immediately, it will, nonetheless, bring you someplace new. And when you’re in a rut, new is everything.

#4. Fearing Change

Being open to change is key to transformation.

It is natural for you to fear that which you don’t know. You can’t know where a decision will take you. What if you fail? What if it’s embarrassing?

Ultimately, a close-minded outlook closes you off to self-improvement.

Embrace the unknown. Even if you stumble or fall during these next steps, feel assured that no matter what, they will carry you to a new chapter.

#5. Letting Other People Make Decisions For You

In general, people mean well by offering advice.

But only YOU know what is best for your own life and what is symbiotic with your journey, goals and values.

Letting other people make decisions for you will further drain you of your power at a time when you already feel vulnerable. Instead, this time should be one in which you seize control of the reigns of your life.

If you succeed or fail, at least do it based on your own will.

What you SHOULD do when you’re at a crossroads:

1. Take action.

2. Face the truth and stay present.

3. Change your current actions to reflect your optimal future.

4. Be open-minded to all opportunities and embrace change.

5. Decide for yourself what the next steps will be.

What has helped you overcome adversity in your own life? Please share below.

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Janet Early

Janet Early

Janet Early is a health enthusiast living in Los Angeles and working as a researcher for a major television company. An aspiring writer, Janet discovered her passion for wholesome nutrition and natural healing while navigating the struggles of balancing food sensitivities in a modern world. In addition to nutrition, she enjoys traveling, storytelling and embarking on daily adventures.
Janet Early


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