Toxic, Harmful Relationships And How To Let Go
Written by: Brandi Monasco
Sometimes you need to make changes in your life, regardless of whether you are ready or not. When that time comes, you need to sit back and evaluate your life to see what it is you can change or remove to improve your life and to bring peace not only into your home, but into your mind as well.
Making that life change might be as simple as letting go of a bad habit, then other times might mean letting go of a person.
People can be toxic in many different ways. Do you cringe when your phone rings and it’s that person? Do you dread running into a certain person at the grocery store? Does just mentioning a person’s name cause your heart to race?
If this is the case, it might be time to dismiss that person from your life.
Having negativity in your life – as well as toxic people – isn’t healthy. The negativity causes stress, which can actually do more harm in the long run. It is the most dangerous toxin in your life and can cause ailments such as weight gain and even brain damage.
Recognize When A Person Is Not Good For You
Recognizing when having a person in your life isn’t good for you is the first step. This is when you need to sit back and evaluate your relationships.
Some people can literally drag you down with them and no one needs that in their life.
- Toxic People Try To Control You. People who aren’t in control of their own lives try to control someone else’s. Another sign of when someone is trying to control you is when they have a temper tantrum or pity party to get what they want when things don’t seem to go their way. This can be their way of making you feel empathy for them so that you change your mind and go with what they want.
- A Toxic Person Can Be An Energy Leech. Or at least it can certainly feel like it. Being around someone that feels like a drain on your energy and then feeling like you need to “recover” after being around this person for so long doesn’t necessarily make that person toxic. However, if the person is overly dramatic and makes a mountain out of a molehill constantly, then they could very well be toxic to your well-being.
- Toxic People Are Always “Right.” No matter what you say, a toxic person is going to find a way to be right, even when they are not. They rarely admit when they are wrong, even if facts are presented and are never truly “sorry” or show emotion when they have said or done something wrong. A toxic person will always try to validate their reason for doing.
- Toxic People Love To Play The Victim. They find ways to feel oppressed, that the world and everything is against them. People who are toxic make excuses for themselves and always try to find a way to make things be all about them.
Letting Go Of Toxic Relationships
Letting go can sometimes be hard to do, especially if this person has been in your life for a very long time. But when you realize that it is the best thing that you can do for yourself, you will be glad that you did it.
But be warned: Cutting a toxic person can blow up quickly in your face; that’s part of them being toxic.
1. Establish Boundaries. Let the person know that you need to maintain your health and your sanity. If you are able to, explain to them why you are doing what you have decided to do. Make a list of your personal boundaries, such as not calling after a certain time or letting them know that you will not be constantly available to them.
2. Don’t Feel Like You Owe An Explanation. Again, you are doing this for your health and peace of mind. Don’t feel like you owe them or anyone else an explanation for your decision. The choice you have made is not up for debate. Calmly and as kindly as you can, tell them that you need to step back and leave it at that.
3. If You Need To, Distance Yourself From Them For A Bit. Don’t talk to the person, don’t look at their Facebook or other social profiles, don’t talk about the person and avoid places that are frequented by the person. Give yourself some space.
4. Accept That You Are Leaving The Relationship. This can be one of the hardest steps, but you need to accept the fact that you will no longer be in the relationship. No matter how angry the other person gets or how much they beg for you to stay, stick to your guns and do what you know is right for you. Don’t let thoughts, memories, or emotions get in the way.
5. Have Trust. Things will get better. It can take some time for you to reach the end of the tunnel and for things to come out in the light, but in the end, you will be a much better and stronger person because of it all.
We need relationships; it is human nature to want to feel connected to someone. But we don’t need every relationship. There are some people who will lift you up when you need them and then there are others who will drag you in the dirt right along with them. You are the only one who is in control of who you want in your life and who can lift you up. You have the right to not let anyone drag you down.
Have you had any experience with this? Do you have any further tips or advice to help others with this process? Please feel free to share with us in the comments below!
Brandi Monasco is a freelance writer, graphic designer and social media manager from Texas. She graduated with a Bachelor’s Degree in Communication Arts and has recently found a new love for health and nutrition.
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