The Great Divide – Healing And Reviving Your Relationships
POSTED ON July 28, 2017 BY Drew Canole
“What lies behind us and what lies before us, are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson
Are there people who are not in your life anymore that you would love to have around again? Is your relationship stranded because of something that happened in the past that you can’t seem to face?
We have all experienced “falling outs” with people we love. Sometimes these moments become so big in our minds that they cause us to grow apart. Sometimes they even drive people out of our lives entirely.
But what if days, weeks or even years down the road we look back with wiser eyes and realize: I loved that person. Our differences should not have driven us apart. Why didn’t I mend things when I had the chance?
And then feelings of regret flood our being along with the belief that it’s probably too late now.
Well I’m here to tell you something; maybe, just maybe, it isn’t too late to start over. Here’s what I want you to do.
#1. Put Yourself In Their Shoes
“I’ve learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.” -Unknown
I’ve learned a lot about relationships throughout my life and one thing that stands out is this: two people can be saying two completely different things about a situation and both of them can be perfectly right.
I’m serious. That argument you had with your friend or lover? You were probably both right. How? Because both of you were looking at the situation with different eyes, from a different perspective and through different lenses created by your unique life experiences. You were describing exactly how you felt and what you saw and you were right! And so were they.
So… in relationships, we have to stop making it about BEING RIGHT. We have to let go of the “need” to be right, because it really doesn’t matter. What matters is people. What matters is relationships. What matters is creating a “win-win” so that both of you come out on top.
Put yourself in their shoes. Try to see what happened from their eyes. Listen to understand instead of respond. Have compassion.
#2. Take Responsibility
“If you do not take ownership of your actions, your actions will eventually own you.” -Suman Rai
Like I said, it doesn’t matter if you were right or wrong. Take responsibility for your life. Take responsibility for how things went down. When you accept and eagerly take ownership of your own life and how it affects other people, mountains will move for you. Don’t play the victim anymore and don’t make excuses.
You’ve waited long enough. The time to bridge the gap is now. Don’t wait another second to take ownership of your relationships and move forward urgently like these relationships really matter to you… because if you’re reading this, they do!
#3. Let Your Words Be Said With Intention
“Our intention creates our reality.” -Wayne Dyer
Try starting with something like this:
“I really want to apologize for the way I showed up in our relationship…”
“I did XYZ and I don’t think that is reflective of who I know I am…”
“The way I really feel about you is XYZ…”
“Here’s what I’m committed to moving forward…”
Be sincere. Take ownership. Set your intention for moving forward. In the end, it will be up to them to accept and do their part to close the great divide between you. But go into it with both feet and with commitment to your intentions.
This is a hard area for a lot of people. But it doesn’t have to be! The fact is, we are not guaranteed anything in this life. You never know if you will have the same opportunities tomorrow as you do today. So take advantage of the moment and, if you want someone in your life again, take the plunge. The worse thing that could happen is NOTHING… and that’s where you are now. The best thing that could happen? Healing. Connection. Friendship. Love.
You deserve all of these things and more.
Remember, we’re in this together.
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Drew Canole is a rockstar in the world of fitness, nutrition and mindset, with a huge heart for others and doing his part to transform the world, one person at a time.
As the founder and CEO of Fitlife.TV, he is committed to sharing educational, inspirational and entertaining videos and articles about health, fitness, healing and longevity. He is also a best selling author and the founder of Organifi, an organic, incredibly delicious greens powder, chock-full of superfoods to make juicing easy no matter your busy schedule.
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