“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself.” – Harvey Fierstein
When we talk about ourselves using “I am” statements, we are essentially telling our whole being what we have decided that we are this or that. It is a powerful message that is driven straight to our cells. Because of this, we should always be careful when saying phrases about ourselves that are negative like “I am stupid” or “I am an idiot,” which we may do after making a mistake.
Instead try to rephrase it and say, “That wasn’t a smart thing to do” or “I wasn’t thinking very clearly – I did something stupid”. This is much more temporary and respectful of yourself.
On a piece of paper or on your computer make a list of “I am” statements that you believe to be true about yourself. Keep going until you can’t think of any more. These can be anything that you really believe about yourself. Recognize that these are layers of the ego that have been programmed into your subconscious, and that you have the power to change them!
I am strong
I am powerful
I am short
I am tall
I am smart
I am slow
I am whimsical
I am free
I am not good at math
I am a klutz
I am broken
I am quiet
I am rebellious
I am energetic
I am young
I am old
I am beautiful
I am plain
I am awkward in big groups
I am good at listening
Most likely you ended up with a list of both positive and negative aspects you feel to be true about yourself. Now you can ask the question: are these beliefs serving me? Do they draw me closer to my higher potential for light and happiness? Or do they impede my growth?
Are you ready to redefine yourself?
Three Ways To Redefine Yourself
1) Question your definitions.
Now that you realize who you really are, even without all these definitions that you have believed about yourself, it is time to decide what you really want your definitions to be. You get to decide!
You no longer have to be something just because someone told you so or because you’ve thought it was true your whole life. You have the power to change or enhance any of these statements. Or just throw them all out the window. It is up to you. So who do you want to be?
Question how you have defined yourself up to this point. Take a step back from this list and realize that these are only true if you say they are. Many of your beliefs may come from comparisons. You believe you are tall because everyone around you is short. But what if there was no one else around? Or what if you compared yourself not only to people but to all living things on the planet? To trees and giraffes and horses? You wouldn’t consider yourself tall then.
On the other hand, if you like being tall, be tall! You get to decide.
2) Decide whether or not your beliefs are beneficial.
Read through the list one statement at a time and measure how they make you feel. What resonates and where do you feel it? Decide whether or not a belief is beneficial or detrimental to your growth and happiness. Why did you start believing it in the first place? Maybe you remember, maybe you don’t. Decide which things you want to keep and which ones you want to change.
Even if you don’t think you can change something have faith and decide you’re going to change it anyway.
It’s time to reprogram the ego. Remember that these beliefs, as strong as they may seem, are all programming in a computer that can be changed.
3) Change how you define yourself.
“If you don’t like where you are, move. You are not a tree.” – Maya Angelou
Some people have a trait or a habit that is too hard to break, so they say “That’s just the way I am.” But the more you say “That’s just the way I am,” the more likely it is to become “That’s just the way I am always going to be.”
You had the power to become that way and you have the power to un-become it or to become something more in alignment with your true purpose! Don’t ever get stuck thinking you can never change. That belief is poison. You can change and you are changing every second of every day.
If you’ve tried changing so many times and it has never worked, it isn’t because it is impossible. It is because you were missing some fundamental truths about changing. There may be an underlying message the universe is trying to teach you that you haven’t quite let into your soul yet.
Something inside you is screaming to be set free and the Universe is answering your call.
Fundamental to defining yourself in a new way is realizing who you really are. If you realize who the real you is then you can’t help but believe in yourself; you know that you have the capacity to be whoever and whatever you want to be and that the universe is on your side. You will look at insecurity as a waste of time!
If you’re not quite there yet, don’t worry. You will get there. Set every intention of finding your true self and the Universe can’t help but lead you there.