Is Your Inner Circle Ruining Your Life?


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Written by: Brandon Epstein

Fact: You are the sum of the 5 people you spend the most time with.

The sum of their health.

The sum of their happiness.

The sum of their financial success.

The sum… you get the point, right?

Outside of your immediate family – ask yourself who you have spent the most time with over the past week?

Can you honestly say that you want to be the sum of these people?

If you answered yes, you can now exit this article with a big grin on your face AND/OR share this post on your social media page and shout out the 5 people you’re so proud to be associated with on a consistent basis.

If you answered no, let me explain to you why this inner circle of people may be ruining your life.

Humans are communal beings. We want to engage and interact with our surroundings in a way that has the least amount of friction possible.

That means that, if you are in a room full of people who want pizza and beer for dinner every night, it’s going to take a lot of strain and possibly create some friction in your relationships if you are always the person who says, “Uhh, do you guys want to skip the pizza and beer and opt for some salad instead?”

When you’re constantly forced into these situations, you are creating a TON of extra stress on yourself that is completely unnecessary.

The truth is, most people avoid the conflict and just do what the people around them are doing.

It’s acceptable and it’s easy.

BUT guess what?

When you do what everyone else is doing around you and they are not living the life you want to live – you end up settling for a life that is less than you know you’re worth.

You end up settling for a diet that leaves you feeling slow, sluggish and low in confidence.

You end up settling for daily rituals that leave you feeling uninspired and depressed.

You end up living a life that is less than what you have envisioned.

So, what do you do?

Well, you have two options:

  • You can continue to stick with your current circle of friends that guarantee you will stay where you are.
  • You can take an enormously courageous leap of faith and choose to create a new circle.


When I first introduce this concept, many of my clients ask, “how do I even get started in a process like this?”

It all starts with dividing your time between your growth friends and your maintenance friends.

This may sound super cold, but this is the harsh reality you will eventually need to face.

Your “maintenance friends” are the people you love dearly, but know are holding you back from being the greatest version of yourself. You should be spending no more than 10% of your time with these people.

Your “growth friends” are people who inspire you to be more, achieve more and create more for yourself. These are the people you want to spend 90% of your time with. They will fuel you to live that life you’ve always dreamed of.

I promise you that it’s not an accident that the most successful, happy and healthy people spend all of their time together. They feed off of one another’s energy and ride this wave of positivity to greater and greater heights of achievement.

This can be your reality if you choose it.  

It all starts with the decision to start dividing your time between the 90/10. 90% of your time needs to be spent with people who fuel you to be better and only 10% of your time should be spent helping those who don’t aspire to level higher in their own lives.

If you can actively make this a practice in your life – everything can change for you very quickly.

Your health, your happiness, your professional success, your financial stability, you name it – it gets shifted by your circle of influence.

So, what are you waiting for?

Make the shift – start living a life filled with inspiration and start doing so today by leveling up your inner circle.

Want to learn more about this topic? Check out Drew’s video on how your friends are making you fat.

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Brandon Epstein

Brandon Epstein

Fat Loss Coach at
Brandon Epstein is a former college football player, turned professional fitness model and serial entrepreneur. These days he spends his time helping people look great and feel awesome over at He can also be found hosting the Zen Dude Fitness Podcast where he’s always looking for new ways to make fat loss fun, simple and efficient for everybody.
Brandon Epstein

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