“Low self esteem is like driving through life with your hand break on.” – Maxwell Maltz
How high is your self esteem on a scale of 1-1000?
In psychology your self esteem is defined as your “overall subjective emotional evaluation of your own worth.” In society we often tie it in with self confidence, which is assurance in our own judgements, ability and power.
It only makes sense that confidence and self-esteem are some of the most sought-after qualities, even though they may seem the most elusive.
The more we have of these traits, the more challenges we can take on and the more growth and fulfillment we are able to obtain.
So where do these qualities come from? Is it possible to be born with them? Or are they behaviorally taught to us by those we surround ourselves with? Is it possible to radically shift our self-esteem and confidence levels to reflect our desires and ambitions?
How do you get better self esteem and confidence?
#1 It Is Absolutely Critical To Understand Your Own Value And Worth
We set a lot of limitations on the love we have for ourselves. Many of us feel ‘unworthy’ to love ourselves without conditions. Why do you suppose this is? If other people deserve your limitless love then what on earth did you do not to also deserve it from yourself?
Let me tell you, to be worthy of true, unconditional love, you don’t have to do a thing.You already are a worthy member of the universe. You earned that simply by existing.
Creation, God, the Universe, the Infinite… wouldn’t have made you if you were a mistake. They wouldn’t have made you if you weren’t worthy of living and of having the most amazing experiences.
Exercise: Imagine yourself standing in a beautiful place. You feel quiet and alone. Now imagine someone walking up to you – someone who loves you very much. This can be someone in your family, a close friend, a mentor or even someone who has already passed away. You are happy to see them. Picture them standing in front of you and holding their arms out wide. Now step out of your own body and into theirs.
You should now be looking through their eyes at yourself. How do they feel about you? Realize how much they love you. Realize how they see you – not in the imperfect way that you see yourself, but with a perfect love and acceptance of who you are as a human soul. Let that feeling fill you up to the brim.
You may now step out of their body and back into yours, but you take all the feelings with you. Hold onto them. Keep them somewhere deep and safe inside you and let them change how you feel about yourself.
#2 Work On Your Inner Dialogue
The average person thinks 65,000 thoughts every day. For most people, a large percentage of these thoughts are NEGATIVE. They focus on fears and worries. Maybe that sounds like you. This is a natural instinct in some ways, as being aware of things that could potentially go wrong helps keep us safe.
However, sometimes we take this too far and these negative thoughts begin ruling our life. The universe will send us more of what we focus on most – it only makes sense. So if we want our lives to be filled with abundance, joy, learning experiences and fulfilling relationships, then we must learn to focus on these things.
This isn’t to say you should “stuff” all negatives emotions and feelings. Emotions are one of the most beautiful things about being alive – even when they are “negative.” Feel what you feel fully, then let it pass.
As for your THOUGHTS… pay attention to the way you think. How do you think about yourself? What kind of self talk to you speak? I heard someone say once that if you think something negative about yourself you should tell it to go to hell, because that’s exactly where it came from! 🙂
Whether or not you believe in hell, you get my point.
Think EMPOWERING, KIND, UPLIFTING and MOTIVATING thoughts about yourself. When negative thoughts and doubts begin to take the stage, make a conscious effort to sweep them away in favor of thoughts that are more productive.
#3 Prove To The Subconscious Mind That You’re Serious
Everyone has confidence in different areas. Everyone is lacking confidence in others.
When you are in a situation and lack proper skills, you will feel nervous and unsure of yourself. This is natural. Some people think they can simply use willpower in order to convince themselves that they are confident and able, but the subconscious mind is not easily convinced.
The subconscious mind is going to continue to have limiting beliefs about you until you can prove to it otherwise.
For example, maybe you are afraid of public speaking or being in large groups of people. Maybe you are self conscious about your weight and it drains your confidence.
Find your problem area, identify the skills or attributes you would need in order to feel confidence and start the work of developing them. Buy books, find a mentor, follow people who have strengths in areas where you are weak. WORK to develop the skills you need and use them successfully.
This is how you convince the subconscious mind of your worth. It won’t happen overnight – confidence is something that takes work!
“Self respect, self love and self worth all start with self. Stop looking outside of yourself for your value.” – Rob Liano
Self esteem doesn’t shoot through the roof overnight. Developing confidence takes time.
There is no magic pill to success, but there is a sure road to get there. Pick up your feet and start walking. You deserve to live a vibrant, confident and fulfilling life!
Drew Canole is a rockstar in the world of fitness, nutrition and mindset, with a huge heart for others and doing his part to transform the world, one person at a time.
As the founder and CEO of Fitlife.TV, he is committed to sharing educational, inspirational and entertaining videos and articles about health, fitness, healing and longevity. He is also a best selling author and the founder of Organifi, an organic, incredibly delicious greens powder, chock-full of superfoods to make juicing easy no matter your busy schedule.
During my FitLife transformation, I lost 70 pounds! That's why I signed up for the protocol, but the most exciting result is that I found ME in the process. I had been hiding under a pile of pounds, self-doubt, and grief! FitLife changed my life and I knew I had to share it with others.
-Lynne, Longwood FL
I started with Fitlife back in 2011-2012…I wrote into Fitlife asking for an extreme amount of help. I was 300 pounds, with high cholesterol, and Drew helped me transform my life. I lost over 130 pounds and I no longer have high cholesterol. Not only did I lose weight, so did my husband, who lost over 70 pounds!