We are so excited to have her here with us today for another Financial Friday blog series!
5 Tips For Improving Financial Intimacy In Relationships
Finances are an enormous area to navigate in marriage and in other intimate relationships. In fact, according to recent statistics, 85% of divorces are rooted in money problems.
I’ve had plenty of friends come to me complaining about financial issues with their partner. Unfortunately, it is extremely common. However, there are plenty of people who also thrive in their relationships when it comes to money. How do they do it? What makes them different from the rest of us? Let’s dive into some of the best ways to speak about money in relationships:
#1. Come Clean With Your Transparency
One of the biggest reasons couples begin having a hard time with money is because they aren’t completely transparent with each other. From day one of entering a committed relationship, all things money related should be laid on the table.
Debts, assets, resources, income, loans, etc. should all be information that both partners are 100% aware of. There is no good reason to keep anything money related a secret when you are about to begin a life together with someone.
Something important to realize is this: there is nothing to be ashamed of! Finances are part of the business side of a relationship and the number in your bank account is not a reflection of your self worth. People have a lot of emotions wrapped around money, but when it comes to being honest with your partner, you’ve got to do just that – be honest! This is a huge part of your life and if you’re not honest about it now, it WILL come up to haunt you later.
#2. Set Goals Together
When you are living life together, create combined financial goals. Savings, paying off debt, future vacations, investments… these should be things you discuss and plan for together. You may have some big financial goals that are your own, but you should still lay them on the table so that your partner is aware of them and can support you.
#3. Walk The Walk
If you make more than your partner, then you cover more of the costs than your partner. Do it by percentage rather than a 50/50 split if you make a significantly different income. Just because one of you is a banker and the other a violinist, doesn’t mean either one of you is more important or less successful than the other. Both roles are valuable and can be treated equally in worth.
One partner should not be made to feel worse or indebted to the other. This is an equal partnership and both have areas (not just with money!) where they bring more or less to the table. This is what you agree to when you walk into a relationship with anyone.
#4. Prenuptial Agreement
If you come into a relationship and there are great disparities in income and assets, then it is a good idea to create a prenuptial agreement. This does not need to be emotional or aggressive, it is simply a smart thing to do when entering a committed partnership. If one partner has an issue with this, than that may be a red flag that the relationship is not healthy.
If you’re young and don’t have assets, don’t worry about creating a prenup.
#5. Create What’s OURS
It is important to each have a sense of independence financially, but it is equally important to both feel you are building an US and an OURS. Even if you choose to have separate accounts, I would also suggest having a joint account to which you both contribute and use for bills like rent, utilities, groceries, etc. This helps to create a sense of unity.
Ultimately, having a relationship is about building an US and this applies to finances as well as other areas.
I hope you have enjoyed today’s Financial Friday! If you’ve found value in this information, please share it so that your friends can learn from it too.
Early in her career, Neale became one of the first female executives at The Chase Manhattan Bank. Later, she became the president of The First Women’s Bank and founder of The First Children’s Bank.
In 1989, Neale formed her own company, Children’s Financial Network, Inc., whose mission is to educate children and their parents about money. Neale is the author of 27 books that deal with money, life skills and value issues and has been honored with a #1 New York Times Bestseller, Money Doesn’t Grow on Trees: A Parent’s Guide to Raising Financially Responsible Children.
Neale was recognized as one of New Jersey’s “50 Best Women in Business” and she was National Winner of w2wlink’s Ascendancy Awards for Business Women.
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