How To Ask For Help And Why You Should – Mindset Monday
POSTED ON April 24, 2017 BY Stephanie Kwong
Today, my friend Stephanie Kwong is going to talk to you about how to ask for help when you need it. We’re really excited to be bringing people from our community into our videos, so THANK YOU, Stephanie, for being a part of our movement and sharing your beautiful gifts of inspiration with the world. We appreciate you!
How To Ask For Help And Why You Should!
“Be strong enough to stand alone, smart enough to know when you need help and brave enough to ask for it.” – Unknown
Do you ever feel stuck, stressed out, or overwhelmed and wish you could have some help, but you’re either afraid to ask, or you don’t know how to ask? I totally get how hard it can be to ask for support and to feel comfortable with receiving it. So many people tell me that they struggle with it, so you’re not alone.
Asking for help is not something many of us have been taught to do. Instead most of us were taught to be strong or independent. I know I was. And if we needed support, it meant we were not smart enough, good enough, or worthy enough.
So, instead of asking for support, you try to do everything yourself. You think that you’re the only one that can do it your way, or you say ‘no’ when anyone offers to help you and then you wind up stressed out, overwhelmed, tired, or feeling stuck and alone and you don’t know what to do.
I want you to take a moment and ask yourself this… WHY are you having a hard time asking other people for help?
Yes, maybe you’ve been taught to be strong and independent, but there are other reasons I’ve found that hold people back. I’m gonna share them with you and I want you to see if you identify with any of them.
Reasons You Don’t Ask For Help
Are you afraid of being rejected or being told “no?”
Do you think that asking for support means that you’re weak or incapable?
Do you not want to seem needy?
Does asking for help make you feel like you’re in debt to someone, or owe favors?
Are you afraid that if you ask others for help that you might be imposing or burdening them?
Are you afraid of being vulnerable and letting people see that you don’t have it all together?
These are all fears and stories we tell ourselves about what it could mean to ask for and to receive support. None of them feel very good, so it’s not surprising that we don’t do it often. I totally get that asking for help and receiving can be hard, but I know that not asking or receiving makes life even harder.
It’s okay to ask for support, because we all have moments in our lives when we need it. We are not meant to do life alone. Our natural human need is to share experiences with other people and to give and receive help. And, if you want to experience higher levels of success, if you want to achieve your goals with less stress and be happier and healthier on all levels – mentally, physically and emotionally – or you want to feel connected with others, you gotta be willing to ask for help and to receive it.
Just imagine how it would feel for you to be more supported personally and professionally in all areas of your life. I’m guessing it would make everything feel easier, lighter and a lot more fun.
4 Tips To Make Asking For Help Easier
If asking for help and receiving it doesn’t come easy for you, take a deep breath, because I’ve got your back and I’ve got some tips to make the process of asking for help easier too.
#1. Don’t Underestimate The Willingness Of Others To Help
You’d be surprised how willing people are to help. When you ask for help, you create opportunities for others to share their gifts and talents. You also allow others to experience the happiness and fulfillment that comes from giving. I’m sure you know how that feels.
Give others the opportunity to help you, so they can feel good and feel connected to you. And, if you stay in the mindset that others want to give, you’ll actually attract more people who will.
#2. Know What To Ask
This may seem silly, but when it boils down to it, a lot of people struggle knowing exactly what to ask for!
You want to figure out specifically what you need help with. People can’t read your mind to help you. It’s good to know exactly what you want and then make the request to make it easy for people to take action on it.
#3. Be OKAY With A ‘No’
Usually the worst outcome when you ask for something is that the person says “no.”
But if you don’t ask, you’re saying “no” to yourself for them.
Just know that when people say ‘no,’ they are not saying no to YOU, they are saying ‘no’ to the thing you’re asking them to do. Big difference. So instead of feeling rejected and not asking anymore, just go and ask another person until you get your ‘yes.’
#4. Know That You Deserve And Are Worthy Of Support
Because YOU ARE. Allow yourself to be vulnerable, because that is the true sign of strength and the most amazing moments of human connection happen when we take down our walls and let others in to be a part of our lives.
If asking for help is a tough one for you, I encourage you to start practicing now. To make it a little easier, you can start with smaller requests if asking for the big ones freaks you out. Ask someone for a little assistance, accept it gracefully if they say yes and just as gracefully accept it if they say no. The more you practice, the easier it gets and the better it feels to receive.
Remember, it’s in our nature to give and receive help. We are meant to experience community and connection and to lean on each other.
If you enjoyed this video, please share it and leave a COMMENT BELOW. Tell me how you will succeed at asking for help this week! Remember, you’re worth it.
Remember, we’re in this together.
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Stephanie Kwong is a transformational life coach, hypnotherapist and speaker on a mission to empower and inspire people to love themselves and live their greatest lives. She believes in the power we all have to transform our belief systems and habits and uses a combination of science, metaphysics, coaching and hypnotherapy to make it happen. In addition to working one-on-one with clients, she created a ‘40 Day Self-Love Transformation’ online program that has helped thousands around the world increase their sense of worthiness and self-love. Her current obsession is creating her upcoming podcast ‘Rise Higher’ sharing unfiltered stories, mindsets and practical tools from people who have elevated their lives to achieve success. She’s also releasing her “Miracle Mindset Mastery,” which shows how to rewire your subconscious beliefs to create miracles and abundance in your life. Outside of her work, Stephanie’s favorite things are the people in her life, good food, passport stamps and being a dancing machine.
Check out the ‘40 Day Self-Love Transformation challenge here.
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