“One measure of your success will be the degree to which you build up others who work with you. While building up others, you will build up yourself.” – James E. Casey
Ever feel like your partner picks on you all the time?
Ever felt like you and your friends or family fight about the small things CONSTANTLY?
Ever feel like your BEST FRIENDS are also your WORST FRIENDS?
It should be the opposite, right? We should be fighting the least with the people who love us, the people who overlook our many flaws and choose to be close to us anyway.
The ones that see us as WHOLE and COMPLETE.
Should we work to change this? ABSOLUTELY. Because we are better than average!
Turns out there is a science as to why we pick fights with the people we love the most.
In our subconscious minds, our friends and family are “safe” targets.
Psychology professor Deborah Richardson theorized that aggression with siblings (or very close friends) is due to “safety issues”.
We feel SAFE with these people, we know that our fighting won’t ruin the relationship. Especially with siblings or romantic partners, we feel that because they will always be our sibling (or partner) no matter what, we don’t need to be passive.
Our tolerance for the behavior of our loved ones is much lower than it is with other people.
Are you looking for that little bit of magic that will enhance your marriage and help you fall in love again?
Are you wanting deeper relationships with your family and friends?
If you REALLY want to stand out in the world than it is time to switch your focus.
This change in focus will transform your thoughts and help you rid your life of negativity.
It will superboost your relationships with people you love.
It’s quite simple really… instead of tearing down the people you love, put your whole focus into building them up.
How do we really implement this practice into our lives? Habits are hard to break but if you keep these simple things in mind I promise your life won’t be the same.
#1 Be Quick To Forgive
It’s easy to hold grudges against those we love, but this does nothing but bring everyone down.
#2 No Gossip
“Great people talk about ideas. Average people talk about things. Small people talk about other people.”
This is an absolute must if you want extraordinary relationships. Commit to a relationship with ZERO GOSSIP.
#3 Give Intentional Encouragement
“We rise by lifting others.” – Robert Ingersoll
Instead of waiting for a random opportunity to come up where you can compliment or encourage someone, make it intentional. You will feel greater fulfillment if you are ACTIVELY trying to encourage rather than tear them down.
#4 Pick Some Daily Strategies For Showing Love And Appreciation
“You need to be aware of what others are doing, applaud their efforts, acknowledge their successes, and encourage them in their pursuits. When we all help one another, everybody wins.” – Jim Stovall
Never underestimate the power of a THANK YOU note! Flowers are also great. Even for guys!
Do you know what their love language is? USE IT!
#5 Diffuse Rather Than Fuel Fights
Before you say ANYTHING… is it going to fuel a fire or diffuse it? Be the bigger man (or women) and choose to step back instead of throw a punch.
#6 Be Quick To Apologize
You don’t have to take blame but you can always say “I’m sorry this happened.”
Accept what you are responsible for and apologize for it. More often than not the other person will follow suit
#7 Step in Without Being Asked
Take over doing the dishes. Help carry stuff. Serve when it is least expected.
I promise these practices will change your life. Don’t believe me? Take a week and give a few of them a try! Your loved ones may be shocked at first but watch your relationships begin to thrive.
I know you want to have healthy relationships – I want that for you too. And the best part is – you CAN have that! Begin to create a conscious effort to SHOW UP as the person you want to attract into your life and watch the beauty that comes your way simply by BEING the BEST version of yourself each day.
Speak with love, always. Work on effective communication and supporting your needs as well as the needs within your relationships. Together, we can create an environment for stronger bonds with our loved ones, co-workers, even strangers! And with more love… more love is bound to come our way. 🙂
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Drew Canole is a rockstar in the world of fitness, nutrition and mindset, with a huge heart for others and doing his part to transform the world, one person at a time.
As the founder and CEO of Fitlife.TV, he is committed to sharing educational, inspirational and entertaining videos and articles about health, fitness, healing and longevity. He is also a best selling author and the founder of Organifi, an organic, incredibly delicious greens powder, chock-full of superfoods to make juicing easy no matter your busy schedule.
During my FitLife transformation, I lost 70 pounds! That's why I signed up for the protocol, but the most exciting result is that I found ME in the process. I had been hiding under a pile of pounds, self-doubt, and grief! FitLife changed my life and I knew I had to share it with others.
-Lynne, Longwood FL
I started with Fitlife back in 2011-2012…I wrote into Fitlife asking for an extreme amount of help. I was 300 pounds, with high cholesterol, and Drew helped me transform my life. I lost over 130 pounds and I no longer have high cholesterol. Not only did I lose weight, so did my husband, who lost over 70 pounds!