I walk around downtown and I see a lot of lonely people. Have you noticed that people who are lonely have a different look on their face than the people around them?
They kind of have this zombie vibe… like they are lost in their own mind. They don’t often reach out to other people or say hello unless someone says hello to them first.
You can kind of tell by watching them that they haven’t felt human connection in a while.
Funny thing is, a lot of lonely people have great clothes, the newest car, a nice house and the latest electronic device…
But they are still so lonely. And seeing this makes me sad. We ALL deserve meaningful connections. Love.
These people are lonely because they are chasing something outside of themselves. They are generally looking for connection in the wrong ways. They are living in their heads and forgetting to drop down and feel their own bodies.
So how does one get back to a place of connection, oneness and and feeling of inclusion?
How do we seek completeness and validation? How do we stop ignoring our loneliness by hiding it behind business, food or other distractions?
7 Ways To Build Connection
#1 Take Risks
“Be brave. Take risks… allow the unexpected.” – Unknown
Lonely people tend to play it safe. I challenge you to be different. Whenever you see someone who looks cool, go up to them and introduce yourself. Compliment them. Tell them they stood out to you. Doesn’t have to be a long conversation, but put yourself out there! You never know the friends you’ll meet.
#2 Don’t Stay Silent
“Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth, and that is not speaking it.” – Naomi Wolf
Too many people suppress their feelings. They live in their minds. If someone offends them they stay quiet. If they like something they don’t always say. If this is you… the world is missing out of who you are! Not to mention, you are walking around with boulders of unexpressed emotions inside your chest and this only leads to illness.
YOU have a right to speak. You are equal to the person standing next to you. You were born to be heard.
It’s time to come back down into your body and feel connected by consistently speaking your truth.
“We rise by lifting others.” – Robert Ingersoll
What can you do to get outside yourself?
Sometimes the only thing it takes to pull us out of an egoic state is to reach out to someone else. It forces you to step out of your misery and lose yourself in someone else’s world.
When you truly apply the principle of service to your life, it becomes impossible to be lonely.
#4 Consciously Create Friends
“A friend is someone with whom you dare to be yourself.” – Frank Crane
Make a list: what are some of the qualities you are looking for in a best friend?
Who do you WANT to hang out with and why? What kinds of people would you like to have by your side when things are tough? What kinds of people do you have the most fun with?
Be conscious in who you want to attract as your friends.
#5 Adopt A Pet
“Until one has loved an animal a part of one’s soul remains unawakened.” – Unknown
Maybe you just need to adopt a pet! This isn’t possible for everyone… but I know I love hanging around animals. There are special animals here with the purpose of filling the empty spaces in our lives.
#6 Stop Building Obstacles
“Get out of your own way!” – Unknown
Sometimes, even if we don’t realize it or like to admit it, we build our own obstacles!
Working out too much, staying too busy, working all the time… these prevent you from building intimate connections with other people. Even if you have the best intentions with the things that fill your schedule, sometimes they prevent you from doing what matters most.
#7 Start Placing More Value On Your Own Happiness!
“Learn to value yourself, which means: to fight for your happiness.” – Ayn Rand
Maybe the reason you are really feeling lonely is because you don’t know who you are. You don’t put priority on your own happiness.
Are you friends with yourself?
Are you spending your time on a life that brings you real happiness?
I find that the more I get to know myself, the more I can just enjoy the time I spend alone, the less loneliness exists in my life. If you are best friends with yourself, then you can find validation and connection simply by being.
Bonus: Limit Social Media
Social media is a trap, my friend. Technology, in all its wonder and glory… isolates us. There have actually been studies done that show happiness DECREASES the more one spends time on social media!
If used correctly, social media can play a beneficial role in our lives. But when we use it to REPLACE real human connection, then it robs us of something most valuable.
Limit your time on social media. There are certain apps that can help you do this if you can’t seem to get control on your own.
Drew Canole is a rockstar in the world of fitness, nutrition and mindset, with a huge heart for others and doing his part to transform the world, one person at a time.
As the founder and CEO of Fitlife.TV, he is committed to sharing educational, inspirational and entertaining videos and articles about health, fitness, healing and longevity. He is also a best selling author and the founder of Organifi, an organic, incredibly delicious greens powder, chock-full of superfoods to make juicing easy no matter your busy schedule.
During my FitLife transformation, I lost 70 pounds! That's why I signed up for the protocol, but the most exciting result is that I found ME in the process. I had been hiding under a pile of pounds, self-doubt, and grief! FitLife changed my life and I knew I had to share it with others.
-Lynne, Longwood FL
I started with Fitlife back in 2011-2012…I wrote into Fitlife asking for an extreme amount of help. I was 300 pounds, with high cholesterol, and Drew helped me transform my life. I lost over 130 pounds and I no longer have high cholesterol. Not only did I lose weight, so did my husband, who lost over 70 pounds!