5 Simple Steps to Master the Art of LOVE
Written by: Lilla Bessenyei
LOVE. The very word describes a wonderful feeling, which in it’s fullness, can lead us to complete and utter, blissful happiness.
You know that showing love to people around you is important, but realizing and accepting that loving yourself is just as essential – if not more so – can be a hard concept to grasp for many. Maybe it is for you.
While the feeling of loving others and being loved is delightful, there is so much more to it. Love determines how you see the world; it’s a decision to choose a better way, even if you don’t feel like it; it’s a life principle; a foundation in which you build everything else upon.
Love matters and how you love others and yourself is important. And just as important is the idea that we all receive and give love differently, which is a beautiful thing.
Here are some tips to help you master the art of love – for others and for yourself.
1. Love yourself.
This is the most significant factor in improving your relationships in all aspects of your life. You have to show unconditional love towards yourself first and then you can begin to truly love others completely and receive the same in return.
If you’re angry at yourself, forgive. If don’t accept yourself just the way you are, try writing down at 5-10 positive attributes about yourself. You are worthy for love, because you are a beautiful, unique soul and love is part of your intrinsic nature.
2. Treat others the way you’d like to be treated.
After you’re an expert at mastering self love (#1), share with others what you’d like to receive from them. If you’re not someone who openly shows love and affection, this may be hard for you. I encourage you to start with where you’re at. If you like compliments, try complimenting someone else and notice how your very own love-tank fills up in the process.
I strongly believe that you can change people and the world simply by loving them.
If you want to be respected, respect others. If you want to receive more kindness, you have to commit to giving it first. We become the people we spend the most time with so surround yourself with the type of people you strive to be like and embrace the beauty of positive change.
This is crucial to have healthy relationships, with yourself and others. If you have already mastered the art of forgiving yourself, pat yourself on the back. Way to go! Hatred is poisonous and doesn’t do anyone any good. Feel what you feel, accept it and release it with love and compassion.
Even if you feel that the individual who has wronged you is not worthy of your forgiveness, in order for you to grow, you need to work towards this important step because you’re worthy and deserve to have peace of mind.
4. Try to explore how others like to be served.
Every single human being is different and unique. Relationships often break-up because of lack of communication between two people. Voicing your needs and listening and honoring your partners needs (and vise versa) is critical for a healthy relationship to flourish and withstand the test of time.
In Gary Chapman’s book, The 5 Love Languages, he explains how we all love differently. The 5 love languages are: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, physical touch. This quiz will explain how you (and your loved ones) receive love. You may find that your love language is different than that of your partner (more often than not). And you may also find that you give love the way you receive love, which doesn’t necessarily speak to your partner the way you intend. Every person has a main love language and it’s beneficial to learn to speak to our loved ones in such a way if we want him or her to truly feel loved.
Observe how others like to be treated. Ask! Discover what their love language is and work on communicating in this way.
5. Express your feelings.
Since most of you can’t read people’s minds, verbal communication and showing how you feel is your best bet to be happy.
You have a voice, so use it to tell your loved ones how precious they are to you. And remember, you have the ability to lift others up so use your gifts and share your light with those around you. We could all use a little more love.
Lilla Bessenyei is a pharmacist and writer. It has been through her own experience that she realized that health and happiness start with what you put in your body and mind - including your thoughts. She is an avid researchers and has learned a lot about health and medicine. In her studies, she found that cultivating healthy emotions were just as important (if not more so) as a healthy diet. She is a fitness junkie, enjoys the numerous benefits of a vegan diet and enjoys helping people discover true health and happiness.
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