5 Keys To Real Intimacy
Written by: Drew Canole
“True intimacy is more than fooling around with somebody you’re attracted to. I want to share myself with somebody who will press her hands through the surface of my skin, curl herself up inside my soul and say, ‘Here, this is who I am.’” – Beau Taplin
Our culture has created quite a confusing image when it comes to romance and intimacy.
At some point in our lives, whether consciously or subconsciously, we may feel like we should have the kind of romance that is portrayed in the media.
Our inner child may feel that there is a perfect relationship out there just waiting for us to find it.
But the funny thing is… usually we have to let go of this mentality in order to embrace true happiness in love.
So, how do you find true, real, vulnerable, breathtaking intimacy that we all crave?
#1. Realize You Are Already Whole
“I don’t want to be the other half of your soul. I want to be the one who reminds you that you’re already whole.” -G.S.
Relationships aren’t meant to “complete” you.
If you are searching for someone who can fill an empty space you feel in your soul… you will probably end up disappointed. You need to fill that space yourself.
Stop turning to others for validation and instead begin to turn inwards. You don’t need their approval. You don’t need their attention. All that matters is how you feel about yourself when you are standing solo.
In relationships, the happier you are as separate individuals, the happier and more fulfilled you can be together.
#2. See Your Partner For Who He Or She Really Is
“When people show you who they are, believe them” -Dr. Maya Angelou
Don’t create an “idea” in your head of who you think your partner is or who they should be.
Our expectation of how our partner SHOULD be is often the thing that makes us the most miserable in a relationship.
SEE them for who they truly are and create a space for them to express that.
On the flip side – don’t change core characteristics of who you are in order to FIT someone ELSE’S expectation of who you should be. Be with someone who creates a space for you to be you and loves you for just that.
#3 Get Comfortable Being Alone
“It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.” -Agnes Repplier
Love can’t rescue you from being alone.
Come to peace with yourself. Learn to enjoy spending time alone. The love you have for yourself will reflect in your relationships.
#4 Look Closely At Your Fights
“Chase her. Chase her even when she’s already yours. That’s the only way you’ll be assured to never lose her.” -Unknown
A fight between lovers is rarely as simple as it looks on the surface.
Are you fighting because you are scared of being vulnerable?
Are you fighting to avoid true intimacy, even if subconsciously?
Are you fighting because you are in love with an IDEA of your partner and not your actual partner?
Are you fighting in order to avoid sharing true feelings?
Are you fighting because you are unhappy with your relationship, or with yourself?
#5 Create Space For Vulnerability
“Vulnerability becomes the door to intimacy, to being ourselves, to being real, to being where we are. But for that to happen we have to be willing to be vulnerable to what is. Being vulnerable means that our soul is open for things to arise in it. It is not defended.” -A.H. Almaas
Practice raw honesty about who you are. There is nothing more beautiful than two people who are intimately in love with each other – faults, frailties, strengths, wonders and all.
Intimacy is worn down and destroyed by deception.
“The story of human intimacy is one of constantly allowing ourselves to see those we love most deeply in a new, more fractured light. Look hard. Risk that.” – Cheryl Strayed
These are just a few ways to experience true intimacy. How do you create a real, raw and intimate connection with your partner?
Drew Canole is a rockstar in the world of fitness, nutrition and mindset, with a huge heart for others and doing his part to transform the world, one person at a time.
As the founder and CEO of Fitlife.TV, he is committed to sharing educational, inspirational and entertaining videos and articles about health, fitness, healing and longevity. He is also a best selling author and the founder of Organifi, an organic, incredibly delicious greens powder, chock-full of superfoods to make juicing easy no matter your busy schedule.
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