Sex….you’ve been doing it all wrong. (Sex Expert Explains)


By Megan Reeves

We love sex and not just for the obvious reasons. In fact, sex has many physical and psychological benefits that you may not be aware of. Some of the reasons to love sex even more, include:

  • It lowers blood pressure
  • It’s an overall stress reducer because it increases your “feel good” neurotransmitters, namely dopamine and oxytocin
  • It improves quality of sleep
  • Sex boosts the immune system and reduces inflammation in the body
  • And it curbs your appetite to help normalize and stabilize your body weight (not to mention all of the calories you burn!)

These four tips will surely bring your sex life to the next level:

1. Start With You. The foundation of great sex starts with you – your health (which corresponds to your hormone levels), lifestyle and confidence in your own beautiful body are all critical components to feeling sexy. Be sure you are caring for your body in ways that serve you through good nutrition, plenty of superfoods, regular exercise, good sleep and positive lifestyle choices.

It’s also important that you are making healthy sexual decisions by sleeping with someone you trust and feel safe with. Be sure you are in a good space of self-care and self-love, so that when you do find someone special to share yourself with, you’re ready to do so.

2. Play the Pre-Foreplay Flirtation Game. Anticipation makes sex more exciting for both men and women, leading to more intense orgasms. Flirt! Do whatever that means to you – send a sexy picture of your new lingerie, text her from work and tell her what you want to do to her tonight (or him), exchange fantasy emails, or whatever else gets you in the mood, anticipating the eroticism that is to come.

In fact, according to Sex Therapist Brandy Engler, Ph.D., making an effort to flirt with your partner is one of the best ways to reignite the lost spark in long-term relationships. Channel some of your sexy, seductive energy into a fun game of flirtation before the naked encounter arrives; you’ll be glad you did!

3. Communicate. Communication, whether verbal or non-verbal, is key. That way you have a clear understanding of what brings your partner the most pleasure.

According to an iVillage reader survey, one of the top things men said they wanted more of is praise. They want to know what pleases their women – both inside and outside of the bedroom – so they can do it more often. If you have challenges opening up to your partner about your sexual preferences, try playing one of the many adult sex games available out there, or writing out fantasies for each other. Another great tip is to light a candle, close your eyes and take your partners hands and put them on your body on all the places you most like to be touched. Everyone’s body is different and you need to give each other your personal road map to erotic bliss to give you and your partner maximum pleasure.

4. Savor each moment. There is a rising interest in tantra, which is most simply defined as a practice of awareness and pleasure. The key is about being present in your body and fully with your partner. Bringing your mindfulness to the bedroom can be as simple as looking into your partner’s eyes, putting your lips on theirs and breathing them in. Creating a sacred space to make love is definitely something to do more regularly – light jasmine scented candles, use ylang ylang or rose body oil (natural aphrodisiacs). Put on music that gets you in the mood and then bring your full self to the experience. Enjoy all aspects of the encounter with your partner and be sure to savor their entire body by exploring all erogenous areas.

For the man in your life: try kissing his chest, gently blowing in his ear, massaging up his thighs and all around between his belly button, before finally indulging yourself completely.

For the woman in your life: run your fingers through her hair, kiss down her neck, take some massage oil on your finger tips and slowly run them from the top of her neck all the way down her spine, massage and kiss her thighs before taking off her underwear.

Incorporating these tips and regular encounters with your partner are sure to create a mind blowing sexual experience (and better health!) for both of you. Sex should be fun so enjoy it!

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Megan Reeves
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Megan Reeves

Certified Success Coach, Corporate Wellness Specialist (CCWS), Hypnotherapist, Astrologer, and Essential Oils Expert at Essential Essentials
Megan Reeves is a Certified Success Coach, Corporate Wellness Specialist (CCWS), hypnotherapist, astrologer and essential oils expert living in Los Angeles, California. Her passion is to give others the inspiration and tools to live their very best, happiest and healthiest life because NOW is always the right time to start feeling great!
Megan Reeves
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