3 Ways to Deal with Failure That Will Absolutely Change Your Life
Written by: Emilyn Gil
3 Ways You’re Dealing With Failure WRONG (And How To Do It Right)
You thought you nailed that interview, but you “weren’t what they were looking for.” You didn’t realize how much you wanted the relationship to work until you heard “you’re just not the one for me.” You ran harder than you ever have, but the woman with the swinging ponytail passed you up in the last quarter mile, leaving you with the silver.
These are just a few examples of the failures that you may experience or already have experienced throughout the course of your life.
But what you didn’t know is that you’re method for dealing with failure is actually hurting you more than the experience itself!
Here are 3 common ways to deal with failure the WRONG way and how to do it the RIGHT way.
#1. Once A Failure, Always A Failure
You’ve probably practiced this concept once or twice after experiencing failure. For example, you didn’t pass a job interview, so the next time a similar opportunity comes up, you turn it down. You keep yourself from trying, because you believe that you will just fail again.
The reality is that you can only get something valuable by passing through a failure or 2. Or 3. Or 30. Good things require sacrifice!
Don’t tell yourself that you will fail. TRY AGAIN. Or try something different. Pick yourself up and keep going until you get it!
You may fall down 100 times, but as long as you get up 101 times, YOU ARE A SUCCESS.
#2. Speaking Of Failure…
Another typical reaction to failure is bringing up other failures.
Maybe you had a really rough break-up. In addition to finishing a carton of ice-cream, you take a walk down memory lane and find other past failures, like every failed relationship since that day in kindergarten when no one wanted to hold your hand under the table.
Or you start bringing up all your past faults, shortcomings, or “reasons” why you failed. Your feet are too big, you snort when you laugh, or you spend too much time grocery shopping.
Experiencing failure can take a large toll on your self esteem. Bringing up past failures and mistakes is just going to make it worse!
Instead, try treating yourself with compassion and help yourself revive your self-esteem.
Spend some time doing something that you’re good at, or something you enjoy. Go out with friends and family who can help you see the good in you. Take some time to recover.
#3. Instant Replay
When you experience failure, a common reaction is to replay it in your mind over and over.
Maybe you lost the race and you just can’t stop thinking about that girl with the ponytail swinging and how it hurt to watch her cross the finish line and hear everyone cheering and feel your legs burning…
Dwelling on failure and letting those discouraging feelings resurface again and again will keep you from progressing and can cause deep depression.
This can be a hard habit to break, but the best way to combat it is to distract yourself.
Even a two minute distraction is enough to let the urge to replay the experience pass. Sing a song, think about a nice memory, or call a friend.
Force yourself to concentrate on something else until the feeling slips away and you’re able to MOVE ON.
You will experience failure. You will have setbacks and adversities. Don’t make them worse by reacting incorrectly! Take them as they come and look at them as opportunities to learn and grow.
Use these three CORRECT methods and you’ll find yourself truly making the best of your failures and reaching more success!
So get moving, keep trying and let’s see what YOU can achieve!
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Emilyn Gil is a 22 year old English Major at UVU. She started writing at age 6, and since then has won several awards including the Scholastic Art and Writing Gold Key and was featured in the Kolob Canyon Review in Cedar City. Aside from the written word, her other passions include performing in the occasional musical theater production, and playing piano, guitar, and ukulele. Some of her favorite pastimes are baking, napping, and spending time with family. She likes monkeys, homemade rolls, and the color yellow. She has traveled to Ecuador, Argentina, Mexico, and Canada, and currently resides in Orem, Utah with her husband Jorge. You can find more of her work online at emilyaddn.blogspot.com or on Instagram at @emilyncan.
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