3 Tips To Getting Your Sexy Back After Baby
By Mercedes Turino
Mamas, we are about to get real. As in no-holds-barred style real. As in we are going to talk about vaginas…
And sex after baby.
For some women, sex after baby is BETTER! They feel more free, less self-conscious (I mean, let’s be honest… your hubby might have seen you poop while pushing a person out of your body. What is there to be embarrassed about now?) and way more likely to orgasm.
But that’s not everyone. Not even close.
Your (now possibly ginormous) boobs are leaking all over the place, your brain is busy with keeping a tiny person alive and happy, you are covered in spit-up more days than not, your vagina is dryer than the Sahara desert (especially if you are breast feeding) and your libido left a Dear John letter on your child’s birth date. Girlfriend, you are not alone.
So what happens after you get the green light at your 6 week appointment and you are still not feeling it?
Here are the 3 tips to getting your sexy back after you bring your adorable baby home.
1. Give yourself a break. Sex can be awesome and pleasurable again, but in the meantime, your body is healing physically and emotionally. No amount of foreplay is going to make you ready before you are truly ready. Your hormones are like wild animals; they are totally unpredictable. Your uterus is shrinking. Maybe you are healing from a cesarean or episiotomy. Let your partner know how you are feeling and focus on other ways to stay connected: cuddle, kiss, take time to just hang out together with and without your new precious baby. Assure him (and yourself) that your body will heal, your libido will return and your sexual prowess is only on a temporary hiatus.
2. Buy sexy underwear. Fact: your undies made it through pregnancy with more stretch marks than your belly. They’re stretched out and…. well…. they’re ugly. They don’t stand a chance at making you feel sexy. They need to go. Invest in undies that will make you feel strong and sexy, even if you only wear them under baby poop stained, worn out yoga pants (a.k.a. the mama-(uni)form).
3. Take time for yourself. Take time for yourself. Take time for yourself. It is so easy to go down the mama martyr path and feel like you are causing permanent emotional scars and long-term damage from separation anxiety when you leave your baby to take a shower. You are not, I promise. Taking time for yourself on a regular basis is one of the best things you can do for your children, for yourself and for your entire family. Doing things for YOU helps you stay recharged and emotionally grounded, even amid sleepless nights.
There is nothing more transformative than becoming a mother. It is one of the most beautiful rights of passage that is available to women. Nothing even comes close. Cherish this time. When they tell you that it goes fast, they are not joking. It does go fast. Too fast. Stay present and trust that your sexy self will come back when the time is right.
Mercedes Turino is a public speaker, transformational life coach specializing in self acceptance and intuitive nutrition and the founder of Healthy Intuition. Her virtual and individualized coaching programs help women identify and detach from their stress inducing, limiting beliefs, and gain a greater sense of freedom and emotional self-reliance.
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