3 Daily Love Lessons From A Married Couple of 67 Years
Written by: Joe Metcalfe
How does a couple stay in love for 67 years? How do they make it work?
There are no concrete and conclusive answers. Love is something that cannot be defined by words, phrases or concepts. Moreover, each scenario is different as to why love grows within a continued relationship.
Be as it may, I thought I would ask the question to a ninety-two year old man about the girl he fell in love with in 1946, the year he returned home from the South Pacific during World War II. That ninety-two year old man is my Grandpa, “Pop.”
The last 6 months have been a difficult time for our family, as my Grandma was enduring through failing health. Sadly, yet peacefully, she passed away while in hospice on New Years Eve with her family around her. She lived eighty-eight years in perfect health – it was just her time.
She was an incredible woman. She was kind, loving, caring, selfless, aware, hard-working, beautiful, dedicated, spiritual and giving. She had the “credentials,” as my Pop put it, as the best Grandma in the World. Every New Years Eve, we will now have a toast to Grandma.
During the last few months, I really connected with Pop. I spent many nights with him while Grandma was in the hospital or while she was back home during hospice. It was a trying time witnessing his eighty-eight year old “girl of his dreams,” his wife of sixty-seven years, go through this process.
It was also an emotional and heartbreaking experience for me, yet also a profound one as well to observe Pop during these difficult days. Pop opened up his heart fully. I observed the love they shared with each other during her last few days. It was beautiful and inspiring to see.
During one of our conversations, I asked my Grandpa, “Pop, how do you do it? How did you make a relationship or marriage work for 67 years?”
He responded (and I paraphrase): “Joe, it’s not easy. It takes work. Everyday is not going to be perfect. Here’s something we ALWAYS did. If the day was not the best between us, if there was something on our minds or if we had an argument, we would always talk about it before we went to sleep. We would always resolve it, or at least try to resolve it, before we went to sleep. We never went to sleep completely angry at each other or in a bad mood. We would talk things out before turning off the lights.
“And your Grandma, Joe, I’ll tell ya, no matter what happened that day or night, she would always tell me she loved me before going to sleep. She would say, ‘I love you, Phil.’ Every night. No matter what the circumstance. And I would tell her that I loved her too.”
So here are the 3 lessons from Pop on a lasting, loving marriage of 67 years:
1. Communicate fully and be transparent: If you are not communicating effectively and transparent with your partner, more distance will be building up day by day. Also, you will suppress negative energy and emotions by not sharing your true thoughts and feelings. This can lead to your own unneeded stress as well as a lost connection with your partner.
2. Express Your Love Every Day: Never hesitate to show your partner your love. Listen more intently, kiss a little longer, hold and hug a little tighter, go out of your way to help your partner (and don’t keep score) and say I love you as much as you can.
3. It’s a “Daily” Practice: Not once in a while, not sometimes, but daily. It takes a daily effort to grow and strengthen a relationship. It was everyday for my Grandma and Pop. It was the only way their relationship thrived and grew. It takes work, it takes communication and it takes expressing love for one another on a daily basis.
Joe Metcalfe met Drew Canole five years ago, at which time, Drew introduced Joe to juicing vegetables and has continued to be a big influence in Joe’s life to this day.
Joe leads an active lifestyle, with a passion for working out, running and yoga. He is an avid reader and has been studying self improvement, mind/body/spiritual development and inspiration for over ten years. Joe loves to write, enjoys helping others and finds joy in making an impact in peoples lives through his insights and writing.
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