16 Things You Should Say Goodbye To In 2016
By Janet Early
2016 is in full swing. By now, resolutions have been firmly established and steps toward growth have been put into action. Today marks a good checkpoint to evaluate your progress so far.
To review and to propel you even further, here are 16 things you should say GOODBYE to as your 2016 takes flight!
1. Running Away From Your Problems
When you face something scary or difficult, you have a choice of two psychological responses: fight or flight. Choosing flight and running away from your problems does not get rid of the thing you were afraid of… and sooner or later, you’ll have to face it again.
In 2016, choose to fight instead! Problems suck, but everybody has them. By standing up to adversity and trial, you eliminate a whole lot of future anxiety and can move on to better opportunities.
2. Letting Fear Be Your Boss
Is there something you really want, but fear is preventing you from taking the steps to achieve it? Don’t let it!
Whether it’s telling someone that you love them, making a case for why you deserve a raise, or traveling somewhere on your own, if you really want it, go for it! You are your own boss. Fear sometimes feels overwhelming, but remember, you dictate it and not the other way around.
3. Comparing Yourself To Others
It’s been truthfully said that “comparison is an act of violence against the self.” Comparing yourself to others is a natural tendency, but it yields nothing positive. Instead, it causes feelings of inadequacy, envy, ill-will towards others and anxiety.
That sort of negative-thought-spiral will wreak havoc on your health and drain your work ethic. Compare yourself only to the goals you set and realize that every person is on an individual journey that likely is vastly different from your own.
4. Giving Power To Negativity
There’s a psychological phenomenon called “critic’s math” and it goes like this:
1 insult + 1,000 compliments = 1 insult.
That sounds pretty messed up, right? But think about it… how many nice things that have been said about you do you remember? Maybe a few things come to mind.
Now, try to remember all the times you’ve felt insulted. I bet those negative comments stick out in much more vivid detail than the positive remarks. It’s a natural, but flawed way of thinking. This year, focus on the good, because people often mean compliments just as strongly as they mean insults.
5. Shrugging Off Compliments
Here are some examples:
Pete: “You look very nice today.”
Vivienne: “Oh… no, you should have seen me yesterday. Talk about a hot mess!”
Pete: “You did a wonderful job on that presentation today.”
Vivienne: “I did? It wasn’t terrible, I guess. Normally I’m much worse.”
For some reason, it’s become very common for people – especially women – to deflect compliments. If you did something great, own it! Accept the compliment by just simply saying “Thank you.”
6. Living In The Digital World
iPhones, laptops, tablets… they’re powerful tools that enable you to work and communicate better than ever before. But if you spend too much of your time in the digital world, it’s imprisoning.
It makes you miss out on the most important things, like face-to-face interactions, travel and nature. Make sure you take some time away from the screens and take advantage of all the good things the “real” world has to offer in 2016!
7. Putting Things Off
The old phrase “There’s no time like the present” is fundamentally true. Putting off tasks only delays goals, which in turn postpones fulfillment.
Make sure you take at least one step toward your goal each day this year. Making progress is contagious and can transform your self-esteem, lifestyle and even physical health. What have you done to move forward today?
8. Holding On To Grudges
It’s easier said than done to let go of a grudge, especially if it stems from a time when you felt truly wronged. But the tricky thing about grudges is that ruminating and getting angry over something that someone else did does not do anything to that person! It only upsets YOU. And you deserve better than that – after all, you weren’t the one in the wrong!
Do yourself a favor this year and MOVE ON – you don’t have to completely understand why that person did or said what he/she did; you don’t have to reconnect with him/her in any way; but you do owe it to yourself to accept that it happened and then move forward. Moving on is a powerful thing.
9. Living In The Future
Many people have this belief that if they just get this job or lose this much weight or fall in love, then they will achieve happiness. And not a moment before.
But that math (If I get [this]… then I will be happy) is flawed. Happiness is not so cut and dry that it can be determined by some equation. Expecting you’ll have it all later on jips your present self!
While happiness means something different to everyone, taking steps towards your goals can help you get there, because happiness is part of the journey. Making progress towards embodying the values, healthiness and spirit that you aspire to grants immense fulfillment. And you can only accomplish that by living in the present, not the future. Take steps today and feel happy now.
10. Feeling Sorry For Yourself
Things happen. We all experience low points and the pain that accompanies them. But groveling in self-pity only buries you deeper in the hole.
Action alleviates agony. Taking steps toward something bright can simultaneously pull you out of the darkness and leave it behind you. Use that grief as fuel and give yourself no excuses for not trying this 2016!
11. Losing Touch
You’re busy. With an active lifestyle, it’s easy to fall out of touch with good people in your life. But it’s also so easy to reconnect. Send a letter, call up an old neighbor, or text your cousin.
A solid support system is critical for your well-being and just as important to the other person’s wellbeing too. If there’s a good egg from your past that you haven’t spoken to in a while, get in touch – the sooner the better!
12. Looking For Someone Else To Complete You
To be blunt, no one else – not even a bae like George Clooney or a bestie like T. Swift – can complete you. If you feel like there’s something missing in your life, you’re the only one who can fill it. While support can come from without, wholeness only comes from within.
It’s okay to not yet know what will give you that sense of completion, but realize that taking some time for inward reflection and pursuit of your passions can help you find the way.
13. Always Saying “No”
Saying “no” is sometimes necessary, but if you find yourself constantly turning down invitations or offers, 2016 is the year to re-evaluate.
TV icon Shonda Rhimes recently published a memoir titled Year of Yes in which she details a year during which she committed to saying “yes” to all offers that came her way. The results? Experiencing new opportunities and overcoming intimidating challenges pulled her out of a depression, granted her life-changing new experiences and made her become more bold.
Next time you get an offer to do something that scares you, think carefully before turning it down. Saying “no” will only dissolve back to your present circumstances, while saying “yes” could generate a whole new path of self-discovery and adventure.
14. Taking Social Media At Face Value
In this age of celebrity glamorization and social media personalities, it’s difficult to separate illusion from reality. While you may see people living it up on Instagram or making daring statements on Twitter, realize that they are purposely putting those things out there.
Social media generally reflects people at their best, or at least people trying to look like they’re at they’re best. You don’t get to see these people at their worst and so comparing yourself to them really isn’t fair to you. Concentrate on how people treat each other in the real world, face to face. Regardless of how important social media seems, it’s the face to face interactions that truly reflect who a person is.
15. Trying To Be Someone You Are Not
It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking you’re not good enough as you are. We’re sent this message through advertisements, over the Internet and when we watch movies. The truth is, you are who you are. The sooner you realize that, the sooner you can embrace your identity and determine your place in the world.
Cramming yourself to fit into some mold created by money-seeking advertising firms is a waste of time and most definitely a waste of your talent and energy. Confidence is the sexiest and most fulfilling state of being. In turn, to fully reach it, you need to start by realizing that you are awesome, one of a kind and full of potential. Make it happen.
16. Dreaming And Not Doing
Dreaming is good. It’s full of possibility and it’s fun. But dreams without actions just stay ideas.
Think of a dream you have and write it down. Break that dream into smaller goals, like chapters on the path to reaching it. Break those chapters into steps, like pages. And then take the first step and start writing your life’s story.
2016 is a year for success and overcoming. By saying goodbye to the things above, you will already be taking a masterful step towards the new you. Start today by making the dreams you have in your heart your reality and always remember – we’re in this together.
Janet Early is a health enthusiast living in Los Angeles and working as a researcher for a major television company. An aspiring writer, Janet discovered her passion for wholesome nutrition and natural healing while navigating the struggles of balancing food sensitivities in a modern world. In addition to nutrition, she enjoys traveling, storytelling and embarking on daily adventures.
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