14 Ways To Use Self-Love To Transform Your Life

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By Brandon Epstein

What would you say if I told you that the more self-obsessed you became, the better your life and the lives of the people around you would get?

Just hear me out…

When I first started my career in fitness coaching, I was straining to feel genuine care and love for the clients I was working with. I would beat myself up because I wouldn’t feel that intrinsic motivation to make their lives better. I just assumed I must be a jerk.

Turns out, I wasn’t a jerk at all. I just had not yet cultivated enough self-love to have it overflow to the point where I could genuinely help and love others like I wanted to.

I used to think that the answer was to ignore my own needs and just keep giving. The problem is that you can’t give what you don’t have. Even if you try, it will be perceived as empty and ingenuine.

So what was my solution?


The only way I was able to evolve was by becoming self-obsessed. I went on an absolute mission to fall deeply and unconditionally in love with myself. Turns out, this mission is never ending and the deeper I fall in love with myself, the bigger and better I can show up for the rest of the world.

If you have ever struggled with cynicism or feeling that genuine, unconditional love for others, then I have something I want to give to you…

Here’s 14 ways to use self-love to transform your life:

1. Observe And Reflect

Observe what unnerves you in your everyday life and ask yourself what is it about the situation that bothers you? Reflect on how the very thing that bothers you may be something that you don’t like about yourself. This is a harsh truth to face, but you are usually affected most by people who reflect issues you have yourself.2. 

Once you are able to identify what it is that bothers you most, you can transcend it. If you have the courage to do this, everything in your world will change.

2. Commit To A Morning Ritual

Never again start your day off on the wrong foot. Use a consistent and repeatable morning ritual to guarantee that you begin every day feeling the love for yourself and everyone around you.

3. Appreciate Everything

Practice active appreciation for everything in your life and everything in other people’s lives. Living from the wisdom that we are all connected in one form or another, you can begin to feel the appreciation for the great things that are happening for all the people in the world. You see someone win the lottery, connect to the positive emotions they are experiencing and appreciate them.

When you appreciate everything in your world and other people’s worlds, you will begin to live in a world of abundance.

4. Nourish Your Body With Food

The food you put into your body can be an example of self-love you can practice. When you eat healthy, nourishing foods, you are showing yourself love and your body will reward you for it.

Remember, your gut has a mind of its own, so treat it well and you will feel better.

5. Write Yourself A Love Letter

Write out a letter to yourself telling yourself why you love yourself. List all your best traits and accomplishments. Throw this letter in a drawer and whenever you need a pick-me-up, pull it out and read it.

6. Surround Yourself With Uplifting People

You can choose to surround yourself with almost anyone you desire. Make the choice to surround yourself with people who are as in love with you as you want to be.

7. Use Affirmations

Write out 10 affirmations that affirm who you are and set alarms throughout the day with these affirmations to remind you how wonderful you are. Reading these over and over, day after day, will condition the self-love.

8. Practice Integrity

Decide who you want to be and what you believe. Once you have this clarity, stick to it in every situation. The more integrity you show, the more pride you will feel and the more love you will experience for yourself.

9. Know That You Are More Than Enough

Live from the wisdom that you don’t need anything or anyone to make you whole. Constantly remind yourself that all you need is within you right now.

10. Follow Your Passion

Discover what it is that fills you up with the most love and light. When you find that out, go towards with everything you have. When you are not pursuing your passion, you are opening the door to feel some undertones of resentment for yourself.

11. Understand You Are The Creator

Understand you are creating everything in your world, so take full responsibility for your life. Taking ownership over your life is the greatest way to control the way you feel about yourself.

12. Follow Your Desire To Give

When you start to feel yourself fill up with so much love that it is overflowing – go find a way to give your love and make life better for those around you. This will only build you up more and more.

13. Love Unconditionally

No matter what happens in your life, know that at any given moment you can start fresh. The constant in your life should be the love and kindness you feel for yourself.

14. Be Proud

Believe it or not, there are people out there who may feel threatened by your self-love. In the face of any opposition, be relentless with the love you feel for yourself and them. Be proud of who you are and shine brightest.

My final piece of advice is to be patient with yourself. It may take time to cultivate this unconditional love and that’s okay. Pick a few of the action items above and start practicing them daily and watch as your love for yourself expands.

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Brandon Epstein

Brandon Epstein

Fat Loss Coach at ZenDudeFitness.com
Brandon Epstein is a former college football player, turned professional fitness model and serial entrepreneur. These days he spends his time helping people look great and feel awesome over at ZenDudeFitness.com. He can also be found hosting the Zen Dude Fitness Podcast where he’s always looking for new ways to make fat loss fun, simple and efficient for everybody.
Brandon Epstein


What Our Clients Say*

Glenn was in an accident with a hockey puck that made it so his mouth had to be wired shut! While he was going through recovery he found that Organifi Protein sustained him in a healthy way where he was able to maintain his muscle mass while still be able to loose weight.

-Tragedy Turns to Opportunity, Weightloss and Holistic Health

Glenn was in an accident with a hockey puck that made it so his mouth had to be wired shut! While he was going through recovery he found that Organifi Protein sustained him in a healthy way where he was able to maintain his muscle mass while still be able to loose weight.

-Tragedy Turns to Opportunity, Weightloss and Holistic Health
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