Once we begin a journey of self-discovery and start to understand higher truths, it can be hard watching other people going through the same struggles we used to experience ourselves.
One of my good friends sent me an email asking me about this type of situation.
She told me that she has been on an incredible path of self-discovery. But although she is in the middle of an amazing transformation, she is constantly feeling brought down by her friends who continue to complain about things in their lives, which she no longer relates to.
And THIS is causing her a lot of internal stress.
She wants them to understand what she is experiencing… but at the same time, she is having a hard time STAYING in her own experience when the energy of others pulls her down.
Maybe you’ve been there… I know I have and it’s a really tough place to be!
What should she do?
It isn’t fun seeing people who you care about in pain, struggling, or stuck. Especially when you’ve experienced a transformation that has changed your life and you want nothing more than for them to experience it too.
If you are going through something similar, remember these two things:
#1 It Isn’t Your Job To Change Other People
I was in an Esther Hicks conference several years ago and I asked her the same question that my friend recently asked me.
How do I handle the stress caused by people in my life who won’t change?
This was back when I was at the beginning of my own transformation. I was experiencing something incredible. The very core of me was changing… my beliefs about myself, my belief IN myself and how I felt on a day-to-day basis.
I was “rising above” my old ways of thinking and the view took my breath away.
I’m sure you’ve experienced something similar. Maybe it was a diet or lifestyle transformation. Maybe it was when you began working out and discovering the beauty of your own body again. Maybe you took a hiatus from technology and reconnected with the earth and the people around you on a deeper level. Maybe it was when you began opening up spiritually.
My first impulse as I began to change was to turn to everyone around me and convince them to do the same.
I mean… I was excited! I felt better than I had in years and I was learning things that completely blew my mind. How could I NOT tell everyone about it? How could they NOT feel the same excitement I was feeling?
I wanted everyone to come with me on my journey…
But most people didn’t want to.
And I couldn’t understand it.
They were not at the right time in their life to listen to what I had to say.
Esther answered my question with a question:
“Why are you rowing upstream (backwards!) struggling to get other people in your own canoe?
Your job is not to get other people to climb in your boat. Your job is not to make sure everyone is rowing down the same stream as you.
Your job is to get yourself in alignment with your path and to allow them space to do the same.”
When I really allowed myself to believe that, I felt relieved. No longer was I responsible for making sure the people around me had a relationship with God… I was only responsible for my own relationship with him.
Turns out we only have the capacity to help someone else heal when we have fully stepped into our own healing.
Sometimes that is the hardest truth to swallow. Because we WANT to help. The best thing you and I can do though is to be an example. To show up, rise up and share our gifts through our action. Holding space for integrity, forgiveness and non-judgement.
#2 Everything In Your Life Is A Mirror
When people around you are irritating you or doing something that bothers you, ask yourself these questions:
Is this person a mirror in my life?
What do I have to learn from them?
When we really open our minds and embrace the experiences of our day-to-day, we realize that instances and people like this usually have a message for us.
If we can find the message, we can listen to it. We can learn from it. We can grow from it. We can rise above it.
So take a look at the “problem” people in your life. Is there anything about them that is a reflection of yourself?
It can be tough really getting into the dirt and being honest about our own weaknesses. It is much easier to point them out in someone else!
But there is real power in the ability to turn inward and search for truth when our outside world seems to be rallied against us.
Our thoughts are the most powerful force of creation in our life.
People like you and me realize that our thoughts are not WHO we are. They are a tool to help us reach our goals and help us become who we want to be.
If you are struggling to stay in your transformation mindset because of people complaining around you… take heart. It is not your responsibility to make them change. We are all on our own unique journey. They are in their own space of change. The universe is aware of them just as it is aware of you.
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Drew Canole is a rockstar in the world of fitness, nutrition and mindset, with a huge heart for others and doing his part to transform the world, one person at a time.
As the founder and CEO of Fitlife.TV, he is committed to sharing educational, inspirational and entertaining videos and articles about health, fitness, healing and longevity. He is also a best selling author and the founder of Organifi, an organic, incredibly delicious greens powder, chock-full of superfoods to make juicing easy no matter your busy schedule.
During my FitLife transformation, I lost 70 pounds! That's why I signed up for the protocol, but the most exciting result is that I found ME in the process. I had been hiding under a pile of pounds, self-doubt, and grief! FitLife changed my life and I knew I had to share it with others.
-Lynne, Longwood FL
I started with Fitlife back in 2011-2012…I wrote into Fitlife asking for an extreme amount of help. I was 300 pounds, with high cholesterol, and Drew helped me transform my life. I lost over 130 pounds and I no longer have high cholesterol. Not only did I lose weight, so did my husband, who lost over 70 pounds!